In the self-care, self-love, self-whatever generation, what are we, as parents, saying really matters? Is a need for a mani/pedi sans kids superficial? Should I be living a life that doesn't require self-care?
For me, it’s creating a self-care regimen and finding a space of my own. It’s making sure I commit to that regimen and hold those around me accountable for respecting that scared space. What about you? What is important to you? What do you like? What do you love to do, see, hear? What could you do that would help you feel good about doing something for yourself?
This shit is important. You need to preserve what is sacred to you as a person.
For me, when the kids were babies, and I had them home with me all day, I longed for some quiet time alone. A meal (any meal, really) alone was what I craved. What I really wanted was something that was special to me and me alone.
I love my kids, and I enjoy being with them, but it's hard to always be giving a part of yourself to others (your partner, your kids, work, home, etc.). I love my family and my home, and I work hard to keep everything operating smoothly, but it can be really hard balancing all those things while also carving out time for myself.
What I needed was time for me. Not me as a mom. Not me as a wife, or as a business owner. Time for just me. I had to work at making sure that I built this time in as often as I could. I don't believe this desire or action makes me any less of a mother or wife. I think there can be space held in our lives for all of these things. It's important to know what you want and understand that those desires are ok.
We are all entitled to carving out sacred, personal spaces of our own.
So today (or whenever you have time) I encourage you to take a little while to think about what is important to you. Is it sleep? A meal alone? A good movie? Meditation? Find that, and then make a plan to get that in your life at least once a month. For me, in the beginning of motherhood, it was a meal alone. Now it’s a 20 minute daily meditation and a night away by myself once a month. Whatever yours is, enjoy it. You deserve it, mama.